How many times have you heard of Darwin’s monkey stories? The theory of evolution is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard before in my entire life.

People in my hometown often ask me, who is Darwin that I hear people talk about all the time? Is he an ape man, does he have the mind and spirit of an ape inside him, or could he be just another adventurer who is fascinated about apes, so he goes about talking ape stuff to everyone telling them many fascinating things about apes, there are others who say that a witch caught him peeping into her secret chambers and therefore cast a spell on him hoping to turn him into an ape so that he would no longer be reasonable, when her witchcraft failed on him only his mind changed to that of an ape, but his body still remained the same in form, shape & size. People called upon one another and said, “Hey folks, there is some new doctrine in town, come listen to the story of the apes.”

I wish I was there when Darwin was telling people his monkey stories, so that I too would tell mine, with my friend Jimmy probably there beside me then we shall prove to the crowds whose stories are more interesting and more believable. I too know lots of things about monkeys, maybe more.

When I retell these stories to others, People ask me, who was Darwin? Was he a man, an ape or both, an ape-man, he had the body of a man and the mind of an ape? He thought like an ape, and liked stories about monkeys, lots of them, he could tell you a thousand tales in a single story session.

There is  nothing weirder than what I am hearing from these fellows, you and I have heard many stories of animals who transform into humans but nothing strange and amusing as this, I have heard of the beautiful mermaids who could not be married by men because their bodies were a half fish, I have had of the man who transforms into a werewolf in the midnight at the light of the full moon, I have heard of children of Lir who suddenly transformed into swans,  I have heard of the beauty and the beast, but not of this one, an ape man, or an ape turning into a man, I have heard many stories of humans marrying an animal and that creature later turns into a handsome or beautiful human, they then lived happily ever after, but nothing more shocking and amusing as an ape taking the daughter of a man.

Darwin may have been a great wanderer but not a proficient story teller so as to speak, he may know many things about animals, birds and creatures of the sea, but not well enough to convince us that his stories are true,

What I have concluded is that these guys are stringing us along, they think we are fools, that we can’t reason out things of such importance

Did the ape jump onto humans and caught a flu that ultimately turned them into humans?

This is one of the most interesting story I have ever heard, the monkeys jumped onto our women and later produced offspring’s that became our ancestors. How exciting is that?

This guy seemed quite interesting, I wish I was alive during his time, how wonderful it would be to argue with him,

If they claim to have discovered something marvelous then someone must have put it there, when a sailor suddenly tumbles across a chest box full of gold on a lonely island, they say they have found the hidden treasure, but then how did the box get there? Can it dig itself into sand and conceal itself from other sailors for generations? Someone must have put it there, a one person’s discovery is usually as a result from another person’s hiding.

They use the experiments of other researchers who were actually doing their own things to prove their point, even if the subject matters aren’t closely related they crudely try to assimilate to different and contradicting works of others into their own stories.

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